False Assumptions I Made About Classic Works of Literature Before Reading Them – The New Yorker (satire)
The entire book is the script of a one-man show that begins “Call me Ishmael” and ends “Thank you, I’m Ishmael, good night!”
“The Great Gatsby”
Set in a circus; the character of Daisy Buchanan is just Daisy Duke from “The Dukes of Hazzard.”
That the one quote I already knew from it was not the climax to the entire, rather long book.
“The Grapes of Wrath”
A sad story about winemaking and occupational complications. Lenny gets shot at the end.
It’s about Graydon Carter and/or the early days of paper-napkin manufacturing.
Pictured David Caruso from “CSI: Miami” slowly taking off his sunglasses on a desert island.
Kind of like “Hocus Pocus,” but with a dude and more blood. Set in Scotland.
“In Search of Lost Time”
Like “Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?,” but with a lady named Madeleine, and time instead of the planet.
Written in four-point font; would cause an instantaneous and long-lasting migraine if I tried to read it.
Written in two-point font; must have documentation that I possess an I.Q. over two hundred in order to purchase a copy.
“The Brothers Karamazov”
The Baldwin brothers looking despondent, wearing fur hats.
“20,000 Leagues Under the Sea”
Much baseball, underwater.
“Death of a Salesman”
Essentially “Julius Caesar,” only with a salesman.
“The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie”
All of the math from “A Beautiful Mind,” but with a lady.
“The Catcher in the Rye”
Much baseball, but in Scotland.
One of Robin Williams’s finest comedic performances.
A book about people in skyscrapers, looking at each other with deep disdain.
“Heart of Darkness”
Inspiration for Blondie’s “Heart of Glass.”
“The House of Seven Gables”
A sequel to “Anne of Green Gables.”
The exciting adventures of a plucky aviatrix named Abbey, who’s assigned
to the northerly part of the airport.
Magic tricks, in old-timey costumes.
“The Scarlet Letter”
Actual events occur in the book.